Sobering Thoughts

Nov 1, 2012; Pretty River, Collingwood

For the first time in 5 days we don’t need our rain ponchos! I feel like Batman without his cape; no supernatural powers.  The sky remains dark and threatening, but the good news is no rain. It’s cold, with a blustery wind and snow flurries. The sun makes a fleeting appearance, a pale, ghostly version of itself; looking like it is struggling to survive.  Before we are able to pull out our cameras to record this momentous occasion it is gone again.

My mood matches the sombre, grey sky and struggling sun. My inner warrior goddess seems to have deserted me today. My body is also rebelling. I feel sluggish and bone- weary.  Surprisingly my feet are doing okay, except for one blister on my right big toe, which doesn’t really hurt.  We slog along the still waterlogged and slippery trail up and down steep inclines and descents, along the Pretty River (another interesting name choice, like the other rivers in the area the Noisy River and Mad River). A brief detour on a side trail takes us to the highest elevation on the escarpment (disappointingly there are no views but at least we can say we were there). Even a scenic walk along the ridge and the amazing moss covered crevices and boulders along the way are unable to inspire and rejuvenate me on this bleak November day.

Much of today is spent in stillness, solitude, trudging along in quiet reflection. I had been eager to spend this week on the trail and see how I cope with the regime of walking daily for days on end; wondering if I have the stamina to do a trail like the Camino. I am not a quitter but… if today is any indication, I am questioning my motivation. We are way past the mid-point now- we have less than one third left to go but this last third is going to be the most challenging in terms of time commitments. We will have to do it in longer chunks of time. I have always insisted that for me this adventure of hiking the Bruce Trail needs to be a positive experience and when it loses that element of enjoyment, I need to re-evaluate why I am doing this.  Today doesn’t feel fun; it feels more like a struggle. Hopefully it is just this day; a momentary lapse and tomorrow will be a better day. …marian

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